"Walk On"

      Everyday I have the privilege of loving little children. I am able to share my love through a smile, a helpful new lesson, a hug, a sticker, a "good job" or a Korean greeting. (Did you know Ms. Ann can speak Korean!?!?!) There is however, something I fear as I end my day and return home..... not everyone feels loved or that love can all to often be overshadowed by "big kids" burdens.

Life goes in cycles...
      If you ask a young child what they want to be when they grow up it is likely that many of them will want to have a profession similar to their parents. If you ask a teenager who they want to be they will likely tell you anyone who is the complete opposite of their parents. If you take someone who is gaining wisdom perhaps twenty, thirty, or maybe it takes until they have their own children who they are most like, they will be able to attribute certain aspects of their personality and mannerisms to their parents. When was the last time you said or did something only to immediately think... wait was that me or my mom/dad? 
      I am at the stage in my life where I am "gaining wisdom," the ripe age of twenty-something and find certain qualities of my parents come out often. Seeing I am a teacher, like my mom, I find that I rely on her motherly and teacherly (yes, that is a word) guidance often in my daily life. I am thankful for this. My mother is someone I greatly respect and admire. There is one thing my mother taught me when I was young and has always reiterated with age. "Everything is going to be okay." Stop, take a deep breath, sigh and read it again...

"Everything is going to be okay."

      Now, maybe my mother has to say that, (it always seems to help me stop crying) but I don't think so. I believe this statement stems from my mother's faith and her belief that if we slow down, look at the situation and see what our role is vs. what we are capable of there is a solution. 
     This may come as a surprise, but I am as much a lister as I am a talker. My mother is the same. She listens to everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. Never once does she complain. Rather, she starts praying. Not all of us are inclined to praying but most people I encounter seem to have a belief in the spiritual. A guiding force that directs their path.
      As I have entered into this New Year I have been fortunate to hear from many of my friends, listen to their stories, and share mine. (Mostly through my blog. Thanks for reading!) In all of these interactions I have heard a resounding sentiment. A sense of unease, a longing for something more, a desire to meet someone, forgive, slow down, loose a few pounds, find a calling/a job that is fulfilling, become financially stable, or find a passion. These are all things I struggle with as well. But hopefully if you need a little jump start to the New Year my mother's advice, as well as, the following may help.
      1. Walk On - Life is not easy. Fortunately I have been blessed. However, where I am today has not come without struggle. The struggles you feel daily are valid even if they feel trivial. Remember in the moments that are tough that there is something greater. At least you have a friend (me), no matter how far away that will always be there in spirit and prayer. 
      2. Promise Yourself - In this fast pace life it is easy to be removed from the simple things that we need to be re-energized. Take a moment for you. Who are you today? Did you do something for you? It is not until we are present in ourselves that we can help others. 

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk healthy, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best work only for the best and expect only the best.

To be enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press onto great achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be to large for worry, to noble for anger, and too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. 

~Christian D. Larson   

A Chinese Christmas

      "Ever Ancient, Ever New." This is a motto that was engrained in me during my days at St. Norbert and rang through my head as I explored a small fraction of China. The streets of China from the metropolitan of Shanghai to bustling, "rural" Maanshan encompass the simplicity of the past in conjunction with fast past, modern 21 century.
      My holiday started bright and early on Christmas Day when I traveled with my friend, Sarah, to the airport. It was great to begin the day with a friend and then depart for our individual adventures. After six hours of traveling I arrived in Shanghai to meet my friend Greg. He was a bit out of sorts due to his travels to the airport, but after we settled into a ride on the subway Christmas was underway.
      The first few days were spent in Shanghai. We ate at swanky restaurants, experienced some much longed for Mexican food, viewed the Bundt, the highest observation deck in the world, meandered through an old canal market district, and were engulfed by the throngs of the people in Old Town. These activities were all a world wind. It seems like I had only landed and ran around the city with the help of Greg.
      Immediately in Shanghai I new I loved China. There was a feeling in the air. China is teeming with people who are all moving with a purpose but it is a different pace. It is a hustle and bustle that does not feel rushed, pushy, or too important. The feeling of humanity that I received as I explored the city and moved into the country was refreshing. It was not something I was expecting and also did not realize how different China would feel from Korea.
      We left the comforts of Shanghai on Monday to spend the rest of the week in Maanshan. Maanshan is a city about 3 hours away from Shanghai or an hour from Nanjing. It is a "small city" of 700,000 people and is where Greg is currently teaching at a University. My time spent in Maanshan was my favorite part of China. Although Shanghai was nice, it felt like any other international city I had been to. It did not challenge me the same way the rawness of Maanshan and subsequently Nanjing did. While in Maanshan I spent the majority of my time relaxing. I promised myself that I would not over extend myself this vacation. Thus, I knitted a scarf, wrote some letters, responded to e~mails, went for long walks and enjoyed Greg and his friends company in the evening when they were off work.
      Living with Greg for a week enabled me to experience the root of Chinese people in this particular city. I was able to see the hustle on the streets, the vendors selling drinks, the elderly men and women selling street food, the bikes and the motorbikes. It was during this time that I also had the privilege of going to an orphanage with two of Greg's friends. The offer was extended at KTV (Chinese Karaoke) the previous evening and as the time approached I realized how hesitant I was. I had only heard stories about Chinese orphanages and was not sure I was ready to face the reality. I may not have been ready but I am so glad I went. I spent the afternoon extending my love and gentle physical contact to infants who spend their days in cribs. Seeing these children, and loving them made me sad. But it was not a sadness for "Chinese" children. It was a sadness for the thousands of children around the world who just need to be loved. For those who have no home, or if they do not have love and security in that home. I ended that day thankful for the love I have been shown during my life and ready to love all those I encounter while aiming to continue a life path to help children everywhere.
      My last day in Maanshan I finally mustered up enough courage to journey to Nanjing by myself. Being in China taught me that I am brave, but not quite comfortable traveling by myself. I enjoy seeing new places, experience new cultures but enjoy a companion. With a companion I feel invincible (well almost) but solo I feel a lot more vulnerable. The worlds of Korea and China are completely different. Nanjing was a good challenge. I took the bus into the city, grabbed a taxi for the "mountain" and spent the afternoon at mausoleums, shrines, and pagodas. At the end of the day I found the bus stations and grabbed a taxi home. I arrived at seven on the dot... Greg was beginning to get a bit worried.
      My last evening in Maanshan we celebrated New Years Eve. The night began with a dinner and ended at a local bar. Dinner was good (I like Korean better) and the "club" was a riot. This is my second club in Asia and find them to be a ball. Very different than a club I would think of back home, but a good place to experience New Years Eve. Prior to traveling to China I did not think I had any "aha" moments while abroad. China was my first big "aha" moment. It left me at a great place to be entering 2011. I woke up on New Years Day ready to start fresh, that is 12am Central Standard Time. This is the first year I have made resolutions. Here I come 2011!
      As I traveled back to Nanjing (taxi), Shanghai (bullet train, subway, feet), Seoul (airplane), and finally Cheongju (bus). I kept replaying all of the sights I had seen. It will be a while until I can speak eloquently about my experience in China but I do know that it brought the reality of modernization, the environmental effects, the lifestyle of the West, the mass consumption, and distribution of resources into question. Never before had I traveled through a country where I had experienced continual growth, major factories, railways, and smog. These are not environmental degradations that are the fault of the Chinese, rather in many ways, if not all ways directly linked to American culture. I am currently thinking a lot prior to any purchases...

Christmas and Beyond

*Although this is posted a bit late, the sentiments are still the same... Happy New Year!*

      Once birthday celebrations concluded it was time to jump back into Christmas. Ever year I begin celebrating Christmas, take a week off, and than realize there is much left to do. This year was no different. My Christmas spirit was rekindled when I attended "Handel's Messiah".  It is a choral piece that portrays Jesus's life and death and is commonly performed during the holidays. It was one of the most beautiful musical pieces I have ever heard. Initially, I anticipated attending the concert alone, my friend Alyssa was singing, but was fortunate to run into some friends from Cheongju in the subway (the concert was in Seoul). I was glad to have friends for the evening. It made it a little more special. Also, the world became a bit smaller as I met someone from St. Cloud! Who would have thought.
      After the concert I returned to Cheongju ready to finish my Christmas preparations. I have prepared my cards for co-workers and students, bought my Secret Santa gift, and found some very special presents for friends. One of the things I love the most about the holiday( aside from spending time with loved ones) is finding a gift that I am probably more excited to give than the person is to receive. I have found or made many of those this year. My favorite gift is a sno-globe that I constructed.
      Looking ahead at the rest of the week, I know it will be quite different from the past twenty-two Christmases I have celebrated. This year there will be no Christmas Eve mass, movie, or dinner.  Christmas day will not begin with a family video, presents, carmel rolls, proceed to Aunt Sheila's where there will be family, food (meatballs, leftsa, snack ledge, sugar cookies, rolls, a few salads, etc.) and end with a nap in the car on the way home, perhaps a ski and a peaceful nights rest. But I am not looking at the holidays in light of what I will be missing. I know that my family will be with me in spirit and I am excited to have a community here where I can share the love with this Christmas.
       Thus, this Christmas Eve I will go to work and celebrate with my Wonderland community. After work, Natalie and I will have our own Christmas Eve. We don't have set plans (both of us are preparing for our week of vacation) but anticipate a Korean dinner, movie, packing, cleaning, and reminiscing. After a restless night of sleep, the sleep before traveling can easily be equated to that of a child excited for Santa,  I will depart for the airport with my friend Sarah. We have planned to celebrate Christmas the whole morning, with music, food and probably a lot of singing. Then, I shall board a plane to China arriving in the early afternoon. Once in China, I will be picked up my friend Greg and head to a Christmas party.
      Although my Christmas this year will be vastly different from those in the past, it will still be filled with friends, a new extended family, and gratitude for all the blessings I have had this year.
      Merry Christmas! I hope your Christmas is filled with peace and joy. That despite the hustle and bustle of the holiday, Christmas plans, shopping, family, traveling and weather.....take a deep breath and observe everything you have been blessed with this holiday season. For some of us there is a lot, for others we may have to look harder. But we all are here to celebrate another year. Be thankful for that!

December: A month of Community

      The month of December past without a post on my blog. I apologize for my absence. It reflects the blessing of being delightfully busy with holiday activities and a new community. One of my New Year's resolutions is to stay in the loop a bit more. Since 2010 is "So last year," I will briefly tell of my activities.
      My friends and I made a pact on Thanksgiving to make sure that the Christmas spirit was in full swing this year. We were fearful that Christmas would not be the same far from home. Although Christmas was a lot different this year, our holiday activities were plentiful. Among my favorites were making a gingerbread house with Jason (he had never made one before), watching Elf, a church pot-luck, and attending Handel's Messiah.
      As the days streamed by I did my best to revel in the moments before I would be off to China! My days slowed down the most on Christmas Eve when I was able to remove myself from my traditional teacher role and help the students celebrate Christmas. It was a magical day where Santa visited and Christmas carols were sung.  By the end of the day, the students were so excited and exhausted!!  The day ended and my plans to celebrate Christmas Eve with my co-workers quickly faded as I head home to pack and wind down 2010.

Goodbye 22, Hello 23!

      There is something exciting about celebrating your birthday at the end of the year. It may be the hustle and bustle of the holidays, the pending New Year, or perhaps my personal love of winter. This year my birthday was very special.
      The day itself however, was preceded by a little freak out..."What... I am already 23?!" I am aware that 23  is not old by any means, but being 23 in Korea makes me 24 in January. That puts me well into my "twenty somethings." It was reassuring to remember that I am an adult, I do have a full time job, my own apartment, and am able to support myself. Wow, I guess I am ready to be 23. Not only was I overwhelmed with becoming older but time has been passing too fast. December 15th, was upon me before I had a chance to finish celebrating Thanksgiving. Therefore, on December 14th, as I was rushing to the post office during my lunch break in order to mail a few Christmas cards, I was overwhelmed with planning my birthday party, become a year older, and not feeling a bit prepared for the upcoming week of Christmas carols at school, travel plans to China, Christmas present exchange/shopping and saying goodbye for the week to friends that have become so dear to me in Korea. When you work and live so closely with people a week good-bye to life lines, such as Natalie, is a little scary. After the support of my co-workers and a goodnights rest I woke up on December 15th excited to be 23.
      I began celebrating by talking with my parents and opening all of the lovely cards I received from family and friends back home. I felt so loved. I am very grateful for the great big "hug" that came my way. This feeling of gratitude continued as I was able to go for a beautiful run before work. At work, my co-workers all wished me a "Happy Birthday," every class sang to me, and my  students (with the help of my co-teacher) made me wonderful birthday cards. The day went by quickly! After work, I went out to my favorite Vietnamese restaurant with my friends/co-workers. We indulged in vegetables, meat (for the carnivores), rice, and noodles. At dinner I blew out candles from my first Paris Baguette birthday cake, opened wonderful presents and shared splendid company. I am so lucky to have such great friends. Not only did they help me feel at home, but they also bought me a blender (smoothies here I come) among other homemade crafts (a new felt, lady bug glass case, they thought my water proof, shatter proof, wilderness case was a bit much).
      You may be thinking the fun must be over right? Wrong, after dinner I went over to a friend from church's house where I was greeted with more friends, a room full, and I mean full of balloons, and another birthday cake! It was one wonderful moment after the next. I don't know if I have ever celebrated my birth so much. Thank you to everyone here and abroad that thought of me on my special day. It is your love and support that helps nourish me daily.
      Lastly, For those of you wondering, "Yes, I am now both taller and wiser."